By Melanie Hasty-Grant
Forever and Ever, Amen: Tips to investing every day in your relationship.
Instead of discussing investments in the stock market, this month let’s look at another type of investment. Investments in the ones you love. C.S. Lewis once said “There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken.” Such it is with all types of investing, right?!
Marriage ain’t all about glitter and pearls. It is about love. Katharine Hepburn once said “love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get-only with what you are expecting to give-which is everything.” There is really no greater investment because where you invest your love, you invest your life.
So, diamonds may not be a girl’s best friend after all. With Valentine’s Day on the near horizon, and all the commercialization that goes along with it, here are some practical tips to investing in the ones you love on a daily basis.
- Be completely present and give your full attention at least for a little while every single day. This means focusing on your partner without the distractions of tv’s, iphones, facebook, and pinterest. To stay grounded and connected to each other, you may try asking your spouse what are three things you felt today? And then share yours as well.
- Consciously focus on the positive things about your partner and show your appreciation. Begin by making an effort to compliment and/or thank your spouse several times a day. Letting someone know how much your love and appreciate them is an amazing, joy- generating gift. When you feel cherished and loved, you will likely respond in kind.
- Make physical contact every single day. This can be a kiss, a hug, or cuddling on the couch. Couples need physical touch to create healthy emotional connection. Otherwise, they are more like roomates or two ships that pass in the night. This can potentially devastate a marriage.
- Pray together. This keeps the relationship focused and embraces the spiritual component to marriage. Hearing your spouse pray over you and you them creates a special bond and intimacy.
Love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. To love somebody isn’t just a strong feeling. It is a decision, a judgement and a promise. You are responsible for finding ways to let your partner know that you love them. In addition to the above recommendations, talk to your spouse about how they feel loved. Utilize resources available to you.
The 5 Love Languages website has a really informative tool to help you understand best how you and your spouse feel loved. It’s easy and it’s free. This year try focusing on creating and investing in experiences and your relationships instead of things. I think you will find it’s the best investment of all. For more information about investing and personal finance go to www.waterstonewealth.com or call 918-272-1120. Melanie Hasty-Grant, Experienced Licensed Professional Counselor and Founding Partner at Waterstone Private Wealth Management.
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